Why Do We Behave the Way We Do?

I came across this brilliant post which is a great therapy technique that you can use on yourself!

If you want to understand what’s holding you back from doing what you want to. If you want to create some affirmations that are actually catered for you and have some meaning (and will therefore be more likely to work), then read on: Why Do We Behave the Way We Do?


Daily motivation: Pick your hard!

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There’s no denying it, life is hard.

It’s hard being overweight.
It’s hard going to the gym.
It’s hard having no money.
It’s hard going to a job you hate.
It’s hard being sad all the time.
It’s hard to think positive.
It’s hard to be on your own.
It’s hard meeting new people.

Yep, life is hard. Or as hard as you make it.

But what’s the alternative?

You find it hard living with the shape you’ve let your body become. But you find it hard motivating yourself to go the gym too. Pick your hard – because either way, you’re in a struggle, you’re fighting a battle, you’re going against yourself.

But which battle is worth fighting? Is it the fight you have in your mind, hating your body. Or the fight you have in your mind talking yourself into exercising?


Daily motivation: Select your thoughts


If you truly believe in the power of the mind and the great things we can accomplish just by changing our thoughts… how long do you spend each day selecting your thoughts? How much time do you spend mentally planning your day each day?

If you, like me truly believe – then shouldn’t this be the most important thing we do each and every day? Take time to select our thoughts and plan our day? How much time do we actually dedicate to this practice? By not doing this, do we really actually believe?

Ever tried it? Does it work? Lets find out…

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Day 5 of the 100 day challenge


Today’s 5 minutes journal was darker, a lot more depressing and angry to write but I’m glad I got those dark thoughts out of my head and into my notebook. I’m not feeling amazing, but at least I don’t have to carry the bulk of those dark thoughts around with me for the rest of the day.

I chose to do another meditation from  Shakti Gawain’s ‘Creative Visualization’ – specifically, the ‘Grounding yourself and running energy’ on page 87.

I read the meditation and then recorded myself reading it loud. So glad I did! It really helped get me in the zone… although I have to remember to read really really slowly next time and allow for very long pauses. My imagination needs time to do its thang!

This meditation gets you to imagine that there is a ‘grounding chord’ coming out of the base of your spine, going into the ground likes the roots of a tree. This allows you to pull energy from the earth and move it up through your body. This is mixed with energy from the ‘cosmos’ coming through the top of your head and down into the ground. (well, that’s my take on the whole thing anyway).

I like this. I like the idea of energy flowing through me, taking the good from the earth and sending it up through me into the universe and vice versa. I’ll be doing this more often for sure!

Now to the visualisation…

I had an interesting conversation with one of my brothers this evening. I asked him what he saw when he visualised his goals. He didn’t. WTF? A non-believer? He said he didn’t see the point of it!

After I removed the look of shock from my face, I told him excitedly about athletes and how the successful ones almost always say that they have imagined running a particular race a thousand times in their minds or they have mentally been through the course dozens of times. I told him that I honestly believe this works… but when I tell myself to visualise something, I go blank or my picture seems to fuzzy to actually see anything.

My brother, a film maker sees everything in clear pictures or moving images. He couldn’t understand how I couldn’t do this and I couldn’t understand how he could! I told him about my vision board and how, for example,  I ‘visualised’ being in Hawaii. I told him I was struggling with this because I have obviously never been to Hawaii, so how can I visualise it?

“But how does this relate to your 100 day challenge?” he asked. Say what?

“Well, I’m practising visualisation obviously! If I end up in Hawaii sometime in my life, I’ll know it worked!”, said I.

“Ermn, no. That’s not really a good experiment/challenge.  You can always twist your results to fit your way of thinking. Whatever you want, whatever you visualise, it has to happen in the 100 days of your challenge or it’s not a challenge

Mother trucker!

Ok, this guy has a point. This got me thinking and thinking hard. Admittedly, I’m not ready to go to Hawaii in the next 95 days so I don’t want to visualise this happening. But I would love to book my luxury trip to Hawaii before the challenge is over. What’s more, I would love to book it with the extra income £2k a month I want to visualise (rather than out of my current salary which would be a huge stretch).

Hmmn. You guys, I think I’m starting to get this!!!!!

I need my goals to be specific and measurable and that’s what I need to picture happening.  When I think of my goals/ desires in this way… I’m starting to actually see images in my mind. Moreover, I’m starting to feel excited when I sit down to think about them rather than thinking of them as a chore.

That kid (well, the 36 year old) is on to something!

Oh and my brother has also decided to visualise being a good Salsa dancer. He’s been to classes on and off for years but just doesn’t have the confidence to lead on the dance floor. He’s agreed to go through the moves in his mind daily, like a Salsa athlete…. so watch this space!

Day 4 of the 100 day challenge

Day 4 was not a good day!

I worked from home which meant my ‘routine’ fell right out the window. I also wasn’t feeling great so I spent the entire day stretched out on the sofa, like Jabba the Hutt… eating crap and watching crap.

At 11.30pm I decided it was time to write my 5 minute journal. Despite my day being pretty dark and depressing, my journal entry was the opposite. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for a job I proclaim to hate. Despite all it’s flaws, I’m pretty damn lucky to have an understanding boss who allows me to work at home whenever I feel shitty – and that’s usually once or twice a week!

After journalling, I decided to learn more about visualisation and read a bit more of the Shakti Gawain book ‘Creative Visualization’. I’ve had this on my Kindle for about a year but it’s slow going… I think perhaps because she talks at length about the theory behind the process when all I want to know is what the process is! I’m already a believer, just let me use the product already!

Anyway, somewhat coincidentally, I reached the chapter on meditation and visualisation yesterday.

I ended up doing the meditation on page 89 called ‘opening the energy centers’. This is unlike any meditation I’ve done before. You have to imagine that there’s “a glowing sphere of golden light” surrounding your head and different parts of your body. You move this energy around your body (as described in the book) and eventually allow it to “radiate from the top of your head like a fountain of light.”

According to the book, when you finish you will feel deeply relaxed yet energised. I can’t say that I did but I like the idea of this kind of meditation. I think my problem was that I couldn’t remember exactly how and where I was supposed to be moving this energy. I need this to be more of a guided meditation so for Day 5, methinks I’m going to record myself reading this meditation and then play it back when I’m doing the meditation. This is going to be difficult because I hate the sound of my voice but needs must!

I also found a useful chapter on visualisation on page 98 called ‘pink bubble technique’. All you need to do is imagine something you want to manifest and imagine that it has already happened. You have to picture it as clearly as possible in your mind and then surround this image/ picture/ fantasy with a pink bubble. You then put your goal inside the bubble and imagine it floating off into the universe – thus showing your trust that this is going to happen. Oh, and the reason the bubble is pink because that’s the colour of the heart!

Again, I struggled a little with this visualisation. I began by visualising all the pictures on my vision board. The good thing is, I can visualise it clearly and was able to move around the board without having to look at it. Where I struggled was imagining that these things had already happened. For example, the pregnancy picture.. do I imagine I’m already pregnant or that I’ve had the baby? Also, I found I was focussing too much on the shade of pink for the bubble. When I first read the word ‘pink’ I imagined bubble gum pink but then I read the bit about the heart. The heart is not bubble gum pink! I had to try and come up with a more appropriate shade of pink which took me away from the images I was supposed to be visualising!!! I know, when my mind wonders it sure does wonder some dumb shit.

I shall persevere though. I think these two techniques could be good so I will try them again on Day 5 (unless I read about some better ones).




Day 3 of the 100 day challenge

So, I’ve been struggling with this whole visualisation part of my 100 day challenge. The 5 minute journal is something I’m really enjoying, the meditation is something I think I’ll come to enjoy but the visualisation thing is proving to be quite a challenge!

For the first two days, I spent about 5 minutes a day just imagining myself in a nice house, having a few nice things but it didn’t seem a) real or b) focussed. I spent most of Day 3 dreading the visualisation and trying to think of ways I could make it feel more real and focussed. And then it hit me – a vision board!!!

I did a quick search of Google images and found some pictures that I thought would represent my dreams for the next 100 days. Then off I went to make my vision board.

Turns out this wasn’t as easy as I had first thought. You can obviously tell by the design and layout of my blog (and this vision board) that I’m not tech savvy. But how the hell do you stick a bunch of images together digitally and quickly? Enter Picasa!!!! My new favourite toy. There are of course other ways you can create vision board such as these but Picasa is the one for me!

So, after playing around with this for an hour or so (yes, it took me that long) I created this here vision board:


But what does it all mean? Allow me to explain. Over the next 97 days, I intend to focus on this vision board and visualise:

1. The Happy Soul Hub becoming a successful blog
2. Getting pregnant (I’m not trying for a baby yet but I’m approaching 38 and my body clock is ticking loud and hard. I don’t necessarily feel ready to have a baby just yet… I mean if Mother Nature allowed it I’d probably wait another 10 years but they say you’re never ready, so this is the year!)
3. Hawaii – I have dreamed of going to Hawaii for as long as I can remember. I’m going to visualise this happening. That I go in style, staying at the best hotel and not worrying about my spending money.
4. Making more money! For now, I’m going to visualise earning an extra £2,000 a month. Not sure how this is going to happen but I’m going to focus on seeing my bank statements increase by that sum every month.
5. Buying a flat to rent. There are some new flats being built close to my house, I’d like to buy one of these flats which is something I’m nowhere near doing right now. But hey, might as well visualise it!
6. Becoming a successful Harley Street Hypnotherapist. I’m currently training to be a Hypnotherapist and this is something I’d really love to pursue. If you’re going to dream, might as well dream big so Harley Street is it!
7. Being lucky! For the next 97 days, I’m going to visualise that luck is on my side.
8. Doing up my house. I moved into my new house a year ago and I haven’t been able to do much with it. I’m going to visualise my home becoming my perfect living environment

Right, that should keep me occupied for more than 5 minutes a day! I’m planning on looking at my vision board every morning whilst I’m on my way to work and slowly moving around each picture, visualising having each of these things.

I read somewhere that in order for visualisation / the Law of Attraction to work you have to get the feeling of already having what you want. So, if I want a new handbag I have to imagine how I’d feel having that new handbag. As we know, whenever you want something new, a few days after you have it you feel as if you’d had it all along.. that’s the feeling I need to create when I’m looking at my vision board.

Here goes…



Day 2 of the 100 day challenge

Not a great start today. Woke up at 2pm! WTF?

It’s Saturday so I’m not going to be too hard on myself but I really need to break free of this teenage sleeping pattern, especially considering I’m two months away from turning 38! Or may be I don’t? I’ll explain more in my post on the Counterclockwise study – but that’s for another day.

So, the 5 minute journal went well. As with yesterday, I woke up excited to write in it. Not because I had anything particularly interesting to say but because I wanted to get those swirling thoughts outta my head and out of my day.

I’m struggling with the meditation and visualisation today. It’s 3.28pm and I still haven’t done it… but I’m not moving from this seat until it’s ticked off so back tonight with an update!

… Ok, I’m back! I managed to do a 10 minute guided meditation but I have to be honest. My heart wasn’t into it. Nonetheless, I did it anyway.

I didn’t manage to squeeze the 5 minute visualisation in until I was in bed. I realise how pathetic that sounds as I type this. Anyway, I visualised having a kids, my house all decorated, waking up smiling getting ready to go to work, to a job I love. I imagined I had a brand new black Range Rover in my drive way (not because I particularly like this car but because I can’t think of any other car I want). Somewhere between all that visualising, I fell asleep….

I’m really struggling with the visualisation cos I just don’t know what I want. I can’t even commit to anything in my mind. I think I need to do some Googling tomorrow and put together some kind of vision board. For this to work, I need to really believe and focus and have a true desire to have the things I’m visualising.

Anyone else had any luck with this visualisation thing? What’s your process? Any tips would be soo appreciated!!!

Day 1 of the 100 day challenge

Ok, so Day 1 was relatively easy and painless. It’s a Friday. Friday 22 January 2016 to be exact. I never start anything new on a Friday but what the hell?!, ‘my way’ hasn’t ever really worked for me in the past so it’s time to change this up a little!

I woke up around 8am, allowing myself an hour to get ready for work as I usually do. That’s right, I leave for work at 9am most days! What can I say?

Squeezing the 5 minute journal in was really easy. I actually had lots of time spare and I wasn’t even rushing around. It’s like the hour had completely slowed down. Go figure.

I didn’t really journal about anything in particular. I basically just dumped all of those thoughts that were swirling through my mind before I even opened my eyes on to my notebook. I have to say, this felt really good. It’s as if I almost felt instantly lighter. I wasn’t carrying around my baggage for the day. I hadn’t solved any of these problems, but I didn’t need to  – it helped just getting them off my chest and making them my notebooks problem for now and not mine.

So off I went to work. I did the meditation on the tube. Granted, it’s not ideal but if it’s pretty relaxing drowning out all of the noise. On my way to the station, I was listening to this Youtube video of a guy explaining visualisation. It was the first video on the page. You can find it here .

This was helpful as I hadn’t really done any prep for my 100 day challenge. I literally decided what it was going to be at around 11pm the night before, after talking with my brother and sister.

The video got me to focus on visualisation techniques and how it all works. By the time I reached the station, the guided mediation had begun. That was the meditation part of the challenge ticked off nicely, thank you very much.

Now that I was fully relaxed, I spent 5 or so minutes visualising myself having kids and being in my house all decorated nicely, feeling calm and peaceful, enjoying my job and having a great income. I need to fine tune this vision but I think it’s a good start.

It’s very easy to complain about not having everything you want but what I find so difficult about ‘visualising’ is that I don’t really know what I want!!! That probably explains why I don’t have much! The difficulty is going to be to figure out exactly what I want, in detail! For example, if I want a new car I need to know what that car is!

I do want more because I feel unfulfilled, but most of the time I am too lazy to figure out what that ‘more’ is.

Lets see what the next 99 days hold.

One thing I do have to say though is that I felt a lot more calm, relaxed and ready for the day just implementing these 3 simple routines:

  • 5 minute journal
  • 10 minute meditation
  • 5 minute visualisation

I’m writing this blog to hold myself accountable. Something I never ever do.. which probably explains why I’m not very good at completing tasks!

So here goes…

30 questions that will change your life


If you’re reading this, I’m making some assumptions about you and those assumptions form the basis of some of these questions. I’m assuming you’re searching for something, I’m assuming you want to be a better you and I’m assuming you think there’s more of it out there, whatever ‘it’ may be.

Sometimes these questions work better if you ask a friend to read them out loud to you. You don’t over think them that way, just answer whatever comes to your mind first – you can ponder your answers later.

I’ve also found these are a great set of questions to get to know friends or family better. Print the list off, grab a cuppa and go sit with a parent, sibling or friend… you will be surprised by their responses!

Now lets get to it…

  1. What do you hope to achieve by answering the following questions?
  2. When did you lose it? That fire in your belly?
  3. What’s your 30 second elevator pitch?  You meet a stranger in the lift/ elevator and have 30 seconds to introduce yourself. You like this person and want to keep them interested for personal/professional purposes. What’s your pitch?
  4. Who is favourite leader/ boss/ manager/teacher? What three qualities/ characteristics do you like most about them?
  5. How do you greet strangers? What level of energy do you bring to each new interaction? Do you take charge? Are you upbeat? Do you mumble? Or shy away? Is the way you greet strangers the way you’d want to be greeted?
  6. Who is the happiest person you know? Describe three of their qualities/ characteristics. Go further and ask them how they maintain such a sunny disposition.
  7. Who is the most depressing person you know? Describe three of their qualities/ characteristics. Do you have similar characteristics?
  8. Who is the most interesting person you know? What do you find so interesting about them?
  9. If you could only give one film to your friends for the rest of your days, what film would that be and why?
  10. What book would you gift your friends? Why?
  11. What does your perfect day look like? Not your perfect day some time in distant future, but tomorrow. Working the same job, having the same funds, friends and family you have right now… if you could do tomorrow the best way you could, what would it look like? Would you wake up earlier? Would you exercise? How far is that ideal from what today looked like?
  12. When was the last time you complimented yourself? And for what reason? If you can’t remember, what would it take for you to tell yourself you did good?
  13. How do you react to criticism, regardless of whether it’s constructive or not? How would you like to react?
  14. Can you think of a time when you wanted something so much and you got it? Can you remember what your thoughts were? The intensity and frequency of those thoughts? Did you picture the outcome happening before it happened? Ever thought about using this power more often?
  15. When you’re bored, what do you Google or research- just for fun?
  16. If you could do it all again, what’s the one piece of advice you’d give your younger self? Why?
  17. What are 3 of your best personality traits and why?
  18. What are 3 of your worst personality traits and why?
  19. On your last day, after you’re gone. What 3 words would you want/ hope your nearest and dearest would use to describe you?
  20. In one sentence, sum up the life you hope to lead.
  21. What 3 qualities do you find instantly likeable in a person?
  22. What does the best version of you look like? How does s/he dress? Talk? Walk? How do you carry yourself? How do you interact with people?
  23. What’s holding you back from being the best version of you?
  24. If your life was being made into a movie, what would be the overriding theme of the film? What film would it be similar to?
  25. Who do you respect most in the world? Why?
  26. What’s your definition of success?
  27. Who’s the most successful person you know? What in your eyes makes them successful? Do they fit your definition?
  28. Whose opinion matters to you the most? Would this persons opinion stop you from doing something you really wanted to do?
  29. What’s your theme tune?
  30. If you could press pause on your life right now, what’s the one thing you would change moving forward? Why?

If you learned something new about yourself or found these questions useful, I’d really love to hear from you!