Ok, I’m just going to put it out there. Yes, I’ve been here before.
This is clearly not the first time I’ve vowed to turn my life around, to reach my full potential, to exercise that belly fat away, to stop eating crap, to meditate… yeah, you get the picture. Nope, definitely not the first time I’ve been here.
So what’s so different about now I hear you ask?
Well, during my little break away from blogging I’ve managed to set up and run a pretty successful little Hypnotherapy Practice in Harley Street. (I know, I can be impressive at times).
I was updating my website today and adding my most recent reviews and it just dawned on me. Holy shit! I’ve actually helped people change their lives. I mean really change their lives! You should hear some of the pretty cool stuff these people (who are not related to me or paid by me) are saying about me!
Not only that. I had helped most of these people turn their lives around by spending just 90 minutes with them! I shit you not.
I realised today. I have the ‘power’. I know change can happen. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve made it happen – for others. So why the hell aren’t I doing it for myself?
The problem with me (well, one of many) is that I’ve spent my whole life preparing, getting ready – to change. I am a self-help book junkie. I’m literally reading 3 books at a time because I don’t find the answer/ the secret in the first few pages so I get impatient and I’m onto the next book… searching, always searching for that elusive key to unlocking the big mystery on HOW to change my life.
But I know what the secret is. I have the answer (more of that later).
I’ve made a promise to myself today. Today is the day for change.
As I sit here at 1am writing this blog, eating the last Wispa bar in the house with my Green Tea and Ribena… I know that I am FULLY fed up of being me. Of making bullshit promises to myself. Of telling myself “tomorrow I’ll stop/ start”. Sick. To. Death. Of. It.
I’ve had this uneasy feeling all day. I know that today is the last day for a long while that I’m going to let myself be so disrespectful to myself. So I’ve literally eaten every piece of chocolate in the house (full disclosure: 2 Wispa Bars and 1 chocolate mini roll). I’ve sat here and watched shit on TV all day, like a slob, with my laptop resting on my round inflamed belly. Because this is the last day I’m doing this to myself. For real.
Through my work with clients I’ve realised that the most important part of change is having a good enough WHY. If you don’t know why you’re doing it or you’re why isn’t good enough – you may as well sit back down and continue bullshitting yourself. Your WHY has to be strong enough to get you off your arse and moving. To stay motivated. To fight against the old you.
So here’s my WHY:
1. I’m 39 years old and I basically have possibly 3-4 more summers where I could legit get away with wearing a crop top (just once please God). Other than my bloated/fat belly, I’m pretty slim everywhere else. My parents good genes mean I still get mistaken for being in my late 20’s. This isn’t a pipe dream people. I could do it. J-LO rocks it so why the hell not eh?
2. I want to have kids (yeah, I know it’s a little late in the day but Amal Clooney is my age and she’s having twins!). I want a healthy happy baby but bearing in mind my crop top dreams, I gotta get fit so I can bounce back with ease (just like a celeb. LOL)
3. I’m going to a friends wedding at the end of May in France. I want to be at my best (or close to my best). I have time to make a dent and rock a Sophia Vergara style dress. When will I ever have the opportunity to do this again? I want to seize it. To enjoy the moment and enjoy being me.
4. I want to prove to myself what I believe in so strongly. That if you change your thoughts, you can quite literally change your world. I know I have the ‘power’, I’ve seen it working… it’s time to stop studying and time to start doing.
I’ll be back to talk more about HOW I’m going to achieve my WHY shortly… but for now, I need to eat my dinner (yeah, I know it’s 1am – I told you today was my last day of bad habits) and get me to bed for my 7am start.
Hold me accountable people. Seriously. Call me up on bullshit. I need you… and if your time has come. Join me for the ride… good things are heading our way.