How to turn your pain into power

The truth is, everyone has a sad story. The chances are that somewhere along your journey of life, something not so great happened to you. You may or may not even know it, but you’ve carried the pain of that sadness around with you for your whole entire life. Like an invisible anchor, it’s been pulling you down, holding you back in some way. Undetected, its been dictating the choices you make and the person you’ve become.

 

 

Some people have suffered inconceivable tragic events. Their sad stories are obvious and it’s easy to understand why they may engage in self-sabotaging or destructive behaviours. For the majority of us however, the sadness is so subtle, so buried beneath the surface that we don’t even realise that it’s there. That it’s silently weaving its destruction. But the clues are obvious, if we’re willing to acknowledge them. They lie in the overeating, the lack of self-control, the insecurities, the low self-esteem, the addictions, the anxieties… and the pain.

 So ingrained into our daily lives are these behaviours that we view them as completely normal. We tell ourselves that they are just a part of who we are. Yet, the overeating leads to obesity and a variety of health complications. The insecurities lead to jealousy or the inability to have a healthy, loving relationship. The consequences of addictions such as smoking and drinking are well known… yet every day, we continue to kill ourselves just that little bit more. Unaware of the reasons why. On autopilot, we just do what we need to, to get through the day.

These habits and behaviours that frustrate you, the ones that you wish you could overcome … they all started somewhere. There’s a reason you started smoking and there’s a reason you can’t quit, no matter how hard you try. There’s a reason why the thought of speaking in public makes you break out in a cold panicked sweat and there’s a reason why you over eat. There’s a reason why despite everyone telling you how beautiful and amazing you are, you just can’t see it.

These subtle but destructive behaviours can stem from anywhere. And because they are so subtle, it’s difficult to make the connection on a conscious level. It could be the harsh words of an overly strict parent, the constant mocking by a sibling or the fear of losing a loved one. Childhood events such as these, which can seem minor through the passage of time can impact your life in ways you cannot even begin to imagine. Yet, every day – the effects are there, showing up in every day habits… in the drag of a cigarette or the secret night time cookie binge.

 

We hear stories from clients of all different backgrounds who are struggling with anxiety, eating disorders, phobias or addictions. We listen to clients trying to rationalise these behaviours and trying to figure out why they just can’t stop doing what they’re doing. We also hear about the impact of these habits and how destructive they really are.

Our aim isn’t to analyse these behaviours but instead to find the root cause through Hypnosis. Once we know what the initial trigger is, the healing can really begin. The best part is, once a client walks out of our office (or ends the Skype call) they don’t have to do an ounce of work to change. The shift has already occurred and will continue to grow. We as therapists have the unique privilege of witnessing this transformation right before our eyes.

Real life case studies:

1. Kat

Last year we met Kat who in her view grew up in the perfect family and was always supported and encouraged in everything she did. Kat couldn’t understand why with all this support and a loving family, she was so insecure about singing in public despite having a beautiful voice. During our session, Kat discovered that whilst she was overly encouraged in all her artistic endeavours, her singing was never acknowledged by her family let alone praised. Without her being aware of it on a conscious level, this lack of acknowledgement had led to years of insecurities as an adult. We were able to assist Kat in healing those experiences through Hypnosis and empowering her to sing in public with confidence.

Kat says:

“Both times I saw Neeta, she took me back to places where I was surprised to find myself, and helped me make missing links to what was happening in my current life (due to past key moments that somehow shifted my beliefs). I didn’t even realise those things were affecting me. Knowing this allowed me to take action and allow some healing to take place.”

2. Nane

Then there was Nane who came to us as Pro Bono client. Nane had spent thousands of pounds calling Psychic hotlines, searching for answers as to why her life wasn’t where she wanted it to be.  Because of this, she had to sell her home and was struggling financially. We were able to help Nane overcome the unresolved pain she experienced as a child. She discovered that on a subconscious level, she had been carrying around the pain, sadness and fear she felt as a child of not being heard and not being stood up for. This resulted in many self-sabotaging behaviours that Nane was still engaging in well into her late 40s!

Following two lengthy sessions via Skype, Nane reported that she had made more progress with 2 sessions of Hypnotherapy than she had in 20 years of conventional therapy. She had a renewed love of life and had repaired broken relationships with family. She was dating again; the sale of her house had gone through and for the first time in a long time she was feeling hopeful about the future. In fact, her third session with us was just to tell us that she didn’t actually have any issues to discuss!

3. Jennani

Jennani contacted us during the breakdown of her 10-year marriage. Her husband was leaving her weeks after the birth of their first child. Jennani was desperate to save her marriage despite it not being a happy one. After just one session, Jennani says:

“Hypnotherapy made me able to see my underlying problem that I had for years but never thought about it. I cared way too much about others but I was scared to show my emotions to them. I also forgot to love me first. Now I realize that I have to love myself first in order to be able to give love to others. It has changed my attitude towards life and people I love!”

4. Ozlem

Ozlem booked a session with us after suffering with intense and unbearable period pain. For twenty years, Ozlem had come to believe that this pain was normal and accepted that it would be part of her life forever.

Ozlem came to see us because she was now at the stage where two weeks out of every month was consumed by pain. Ozlem was unable to leave the house and found herself in a state of constant pain and agitation resulting in social isolation.

During our first session with Ozlem we were able to determine that her physical pain stemmed from the childhood burden of having to be the carer of a younger sibling while her parents worked. On a conscious level, Ozlem was completely unaware how much this responsibility had affected her physically.

We helped Ozlem face these emotions, explore them and then release them… ultimately, resolving the pain associated with them.

 Ozlem says:

“I had terrible period pain and it was affecting all of my life. The pain was too strong and I was feeling tired, moody and lazy.

But now, this period term I didn’t feel the pain too much . On my third day l did yoga for 1 hour 15 mins and I did a run for 30 mins… that’s what l want …  I am going to gym 2-3 hours then meeting with my friends , living the day fully and don’t get tired easily like l used to be.

That was an amazing experience, it’s working on me very well.. I am reaching my goals..”

 If you’re ready to turn your pain into power, contact us for a free consultation at info@regencyhypnotherapy.com or call FREE on 0800 246 1017.

Appointments available via Skype, WhatsApp video or at 1 Harley Street, London.

visit http://www.regencyhypnotherapy.com for more information.

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Day 3 – Unleash Your Inner Money Babe challenge

Thank god Day 3 is easier than Day 2!!!!

Task: To list the 5 feelings you’ll have when you manifest what you want at the end of the challenge.

Mine are simple:

  • Excited
  • Powerful
  • Strong
  • High – as in buzzing!
  • Unstoppable (I’ve worked out how to make my mind work for me)

I feel really good today and I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not but this is literally the most productive I have been in years. I feel the high vibes from the ‘manifestation babes’ Facebook group and the level of love in that group is leaving me buzzing.

On a side note, I’m seeing synchronization everywhere!!!  14:14 15.55, 11:11, 16:16 – I’m taking this as a sign from the universe that I’m on the right track.  WOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Why minding your own business is good for your health

We’ve recently come across the work of author Byron Katie who shares this remarkably simple yet effective tool on how to be free of anxiety and tension. It’s so simple you’ll be wondering why you haven’t been doing it all this time!

 We’ll leave Katie (as everyone calls her) to explain it in her own words:

 “I can find only three kinds of business in the universe:

 1. Mine

2. Yours

3. Gods  (anything that’s out of my control, your control and everyone else’s control – that’s God’s business).

Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself” – I am in your business.

When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die – I am in God’s business.

 If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation.

 If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself,  wondering why my life doesn’t work.

To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you.

If you understand the three kinds of business enough to stay in your own business, it could free your life in a way that you can’t even imagine.

 The next time you’re feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you’re mentally in, and you may burst out laughing! The question can bring you back to yourself. And you may come to see that you’ve never really been present, that you’ve mentally been living in other people’s.

For more information about Byron Katie’s  visit  ‘the Work’ visit http://thework.com/en/do-work#jyn  

If you could change your life in 90 minutes, would you?

In as little as 90 minutes we can help you overcome life long blocks that have been holding you back.

Our client last week attended with a range of issues which included wanting to be more productive, weight control and feeling better about herself.

Within days she is already feeling the benefits of the session and these feelings will continue to grow.

Book your session today! Appointments available via Skype or at Harley Street.

 

jay

Daily motivation: trade your expectations for appreciation

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A simple life hack to being happier is to trade your expectations for appreciation. When you expect nothing, you can’t be disappointed. View every encounter with gratitude.

If someone turns up late to meet you, rather than being upset that they’re late. Be grateful that they made it!

#youronlylimitisyou

For more about the benefits of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy, follow Regency Hypnotherapy on Facebook and/ or Twitter

Day 5 of the 100 day challenge

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Today’s 5 minutes journal was darker, a lot more depressing and angry to write but I’m glad I got those dark thoughts out of my head and into my notebook. I’m not feeling amazing, but at least I don’t have to carry the bulk of those dark thoughts around with me for the rest of the day.

I chose to do another meditation from  Shakti Gawain’s ‘Creative Visualization’ – specifically, the ‘Grounding yourself and running energy’ on page 87.

I read the meditation and then recorded myself reading it loud. So glad I did! It really helped get me in the zone… although I have to remember to read really really slowly next time and allow for very long pauses. My imagination needs time to do its thang!

This meditation gets you to imagine that there is a ‘grounding chord’ coming out of the base of your spine, going into the ground likes the roots of a tree. This allows you to pull energy from the earth and move it up through your body. This is mixed with energy from the ‘cosmos’ coming through the top of your head and down into the ground. (well, that’s my take on the whole thing anyway).

I like this. I like the idea of energy flowing through me, taking the good from the earth and sending it up through me into the universe and vice versa. I’ll be doing this more often for sure!

Now to the visualisation…

I had an interesting conversation with one of my brothers this evening. I asked him what he saw when he visualised his goals. He didn’t. WTF? A non-believer? He said he didn’t see the point of it!

After I removed the look of shock from my face, I told him excitedly about athletes and how the successful ones almost always say that they have imagined running a particular race a thousand times in their minds or they have mentally been through the course dozens of times. I told him that I honestly believe this works… but when I tell myself to visualise something, I go blank or my picture seems to fuzzy to actually see anything.

My brother, a film maker sees everything in clear pictures or moving images. He couldn’t understand how I couldn’t do this and I couldn’t understand how he could! I told him about my vision board and how, for example,  I ‘visualised’ being in Hawaii. I told him I was struggling with this because I have obviously never been to Hawaii, so how can I visualise it?

“But how does this relate to your 100 day challenge?” he asked. Say what?

“Well, I’m practising visualisation obviously! If I end up in Hawaii sometime in my life, I’ll know it worked!”, said I.

“Ermn, no. That’s not really a good experiment/challenge.  You can always twist your results to fit your way of thinking. Whatever you want, whatever you visualise, it has to happen in the 100 days of your challenge or it’s not a challenge

Mother trucker!

Ok, this guy has a point. This got me thinking and thinking hard. Admittedly, I’m not ready to go to Hawaii in the next 95 days so I don’t want to visualise this happening. But I would love to book my luxury trip to Hawaii before the challenge is over. What’s more, I would love to book it with the extra income £2k a month I want to visualise (rather than out of my current salary which would be a huge stretch).

Hmmn. You guys, I think I’m starting to get this!!!!!

I need my goals to be specific and measurable and that’s what I need to picture happening.  When I think of my goals/ desires in this way… I’m starting to actually see images in my mind. Moreover, I’m starting to feel excited when I sit down to think about them rather than thinking of them as a chore.

That kid (well, the 36 year old) is on to something!

Oh and my brother has also decided to visualise being a good Salsa dancer. He’s been to classes on and off for years but just doesn’t have the confidence to lead on the dance floor. He’s agreed to go through the moves in his mind daily, like a Salsa athlete…. so watch this space!

Day 4 of the 100 day challenge

Day 4 was not a good day!

I worked from home which meant my ‘routine’ fell right out the window. I also wasn’t feeling great so I spent the entire day stretched out on the sofa, like Jabba the Hutt… eating crap and watching crap.

At 11.30pm I decided it was time to write my 5 minute journal. Despite my day being pretty dark and depressing, my journal entry was the opposite. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for a job I proclaim to hate. Despite all it’s flaws, I’m pretty damn lucky to have an understanding boss who allows me to work at home whenever I feel shitty – and that’s usually once or twice a week!

After journalling, I decided to learn more about visualisation and read a bit more of the Shakti Gawain book ‘Creative Visualization’. I’ve had this on my Kindle for about a year but it’s slow going… I think perhaps because she talks at length about the theory behind the process when all I want to know is what the process is! I’m already a believer, just let me use the product already!

Anyway, somewhat coincidentally, I reached the chapter on meditation and visualisation yesterday.

I ended up doing the meditation on page 89 called ‘opening the energy centers’. This is unlike any meditation I’ve done before. You have to imagine that there’s “a glowing sphere of golden light” surrounding your head and different parts of your body. You move this energy around your body (as described in the book) and eventually allow it to “radiate from the top of your head like a fountain of light.”

According to the book, when you finish you will feel deeply relaxed yet energised. I can’t say that I did but I like the idea of this kind of meditation. I think my problem was that I couldn’t remember exactly how and where I was supposed to be moving this energy. I need this to be more of a guided meditation so for Day 5, methinks I’m going to record myself reading this meditation and then play it back when I’m doing the meditation. This is going to be difficult because I hate the sound of my voice but needs must!

I also found a useful chapter on visualisation on page 98 called ‘pink bubble technique’. All you need to do is imagine something you want to manifest and imagine that it has already happened. You have to picture it as clearly as possible in your mind and then surround this image/ picture/ fantasy with a pink bubble. You then put your goal inside the bubble and imagine it floating off into the universe – thus showing your trust that this is going to happen. Oh, and the reason the bubble is pink because that’s the colour of the heart!

Again, I struggled a little with this visualisation. I began by visualising all the pictures on my vision board. The good thing is, I can visualise it clearly and was able to move around the board without having to look at it. Where I struggled was imagining that these things had already happened. For example, the pregnancy picture.. do I imagine I’m already pregnant or that I’ve had the baby? Also, I found I was focussing too much on the shade of pink for the bubble. When I first read the word ‘pink’ I imagined bubble gum pink but then I read the bit about the heart. The heart is not bubble gum pink! I had to try and come up with a more appropriate shade of pink which took me away from the images I was supposed to be visualising!!! I know, when my mind wonders it sure does wonder some dumb shit.

I shall persevere though. I think these two techniques could be good so I will try them again on Day 5 (unless I read about some better ones).

 

 

 

Day 3 of the 100 day challenge

So, I’ve been struggling with this whole visualisation part of my 100 day challenge. The 5 minute journal is something I’m really enjoying, the meditation is something I think I’ll come to enjoy but the visualisation thing is proving to be quite a challenge!

For the first two days, I spent about 5 minutes a day just imagining myself in a nice house, having a few nice things but it didn’t seem a) real or b) focussed. I spent most of Day 3 dreading the visualisation and trying to think of ways I could make it feel more real and focussed. And then it hit me – a vision board!!!

I did a quick search of Google images and found some pictures that I thought would represent my dreams for the next 100 days. Then off I went to make my vision board.

Turns out this wasn’t as easy as I had first thought. You can obviously tell by the design and layout of my blog (and this vision board) that I’m not tech savvy. But how the hell do you stick a bunch of images together digitally and quickly? Enter Picasa!!!! My new favourite toy. There are of course other ways you can create vision board such as these but Picasa is the one for me!

So, after playing around with this for an hour or so (yes, it took me that long) I created this here vision board:

HSH

But what does it all mean? Allow me to explain. Over the next 97 days, I intend to focus on this vision board and visualise:

1. The Happy Soul Hub becoming a successful blog
2. Getting pregnant (I’m not trying for a baby yet but I’m approaching 38 and my body clock is ticking loud and hard. I don’t necessarily feel ready to have a baby just yet… I mean if Mother Nature allowed it I’d probably wait another 10 years but they say you’re never ready, so this is the year!)
3. Hawaii – I have dreamed of going to Hawaii for as long as I can remember. I’m going to visualise this happening. That I go in style, staying at the best hotel and not worrying about my spending money.
4. Making more money! For now, I’m going to visualise earning an extra £2,000 a month. Not sure how this is going to happen but I’m going to focus on seeing my bank statements increase by that sum every month.
5. Buying a flat to rent. There are some new flats being built close to my house, I’d like to buy one of these flats which is something I’m nowhere near doing right now. But hey, might as well visualise it!
6. Becoming a successful Harley Street Hypnotherapist. I’m currently training to be a Hypnotherapist and this is something I’d really love to pursue. If you’re going to dream, might as well dream big so Harley Street is it!
7. Being lucky! For the next 97 days, I’m going to visualise that luck is on my side.
8. Doing up my house. I moved into my new house a year ago and I haven’t been able to do much with it. I’m going to visualise my home becoming my perfect living environment

Right, that should keep me occupied for more than 5 minutes a day! I’m planning on looking at my vision board every morning whilst I’m on my way to work and slowly moving around each picture, visualising having each of these things.

I read somewhere that in order for visualisation / the Law of Attraction to work you have to get the feeling of already having what you want. So, if I want a new handbag I have to imagine how I’d feel having that new handbag. As we know, whenever you want something new, a few days after you have it you feel as if you’d had it all along.. that’s the feeling I need to create when I’m looking at my vision board.

Here goes…