Like reflects Like

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5 Law of Attraction hacks I’ve learnt from Susan Ferraro

So, who exactly is Susan Ferraro? Ermn, I have absolutely no idea!

I came across Susan on one of those suggested Facebook posts – you know the ones. They randomly appear in your newsfeed offering you the world. In this case, Susan was offering a short free course on the Law of Attraction (LOA) so I thought I’d check out her free videos.

Although I chose not to sign up for Susan’s paid course, I did find that she made some valuable points which I’ll share with you (adding my own take on them of course):

1. Like reflects like

Rather than the LOA being about ‘attracting’ what you want in your life, Susan flips this and suggests that the LOA is actually about reflecting what you want to attract. She uses the example of looking into a mirror. The only way you’re going to get your reflection to smile back at you is of course, if you’re smiling. It’s a simple change of words, reflect rather than attract but for some reason, it clicks with me.

2. Know what you want

This doesn’t have to be a long drawn out process. It’s a simple as a split second decision. It’s all about certainty. Susan gives the example of wanting new flooring and going to bed being sure that this is what she was going to get. She wakes the next morning to a burst water pipe resulting in damage to her carpet… and therefore, she’s left with no choice but to change her flooring. Susan got what she wanted, the how isn’t important (I’m not quite sure this particular example would be a good outcome for me. Burst pipes would likely send me over the edge!). Nonetheless, this got me thinking.

I’ve been thinking back to times when I’ve had similar experiences but for me it’s usually when I’m pissed off about something. It’s like something
flips in my brain and I think ‘enough is enough’ or ‘fuck you world’ and there and then, in a split second I make up mind that this is how things are going to be. Whenever I’ve had a thought like this, the things I’ve wanted have manifested.

Now the problem for me is that it takes a lot for me to get to this stage, like a lot. I’m a ‘go with the flow’ kinda gal and I generally don’t feel passionate about anything (unless it pisses me off)…  Hmm and I guess herein lies my problem?!I need to get my Hulk on more often. I need to get the feeling of ‘how fucking dare you?’ which results in my thinking being determined and focussed. I guess I need to work on using my powers for good.. but at least I’ve finally identified the feeling I need to create.

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**I need to be in a permanent state of being just on the verge of turning into the Hulk!

By the way, if anyone has got any ideas on how I can recreate this feeling without having to be pissed off first- please let me know!

3. Journal about what you want your life to look like

Any LOA student knows that visualisation is a key part of manifesting your dreams but for me personally, this is something I really struggle with. I just can’t conjure up pictures in my mind on demand. I have no idea why! Tell me to picture a cat, my mind will instead give me a blank screen – every time! 

Susan rescued me here! She doesn’t visualise so much either. Instead, she journals about how she wants her life to look! I love this idea! 

I’ve already started incorporating this way of visualisation in my 5 minute journal and I have to say, I really prefer the process of writing about what I want rather than sitting there trying to picture it. This for me is a keeper! 

4. Desperation is a turn off

Just like it is in any relationship, when you act desperate (even if it’s in your mind) it’s an immediate turn off. Apparently, the Universe is no different from any guy or girl. If you act desperate about what you want, the Universe aint interested! 

I guess this is what ‘they’ (the people in the know) mean about having faith. You have to decide on what you want, know that you’re going to get and trust that the Universe will deliver it. Basically, it’s like going to a bar in your best get up, knowing that you look hot and knowing that you’ll be pulling tonight… there’s no doubt in your mind that you’ll be approached! But if you’ve been sitting there for 2 hours and no one has even looked your way, you start doubting yourself and start feeling and looking a bit desperate- making the whole situation even worse. If you would’ve just held your cool, you would’ve realised that the type of people you want to attract hadn’t actually arrived at the bar yet. It is only 4pm after all! Catch my drift? Be cool my friends, be cool.

5. Just focus on the step in front of you

Don’t get caught up in the ‘how’s’. Just focus on the first step of the staircase, you can deal with the rest of the staircase as and when you get to it.

If you start looking at the whole grand picture of what you want out of life, it’s easy to get disheartened and convince yourself it’s not going to happen. Because, well… quite frankly you’re not seeing anything – not yet anyway! But that’s ok. These things take time.Focussing on just the step in front of you is one way around this. Trust that you have asked, so you will receive but forget about the big picture – it’s just one step at a time.

 

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I am enough. Are you?

Yeah, we’ve all heard this a million times before, right?

It’s like that scene in Good Will Hunting when Robin Williams repeatedly keeps telling a young fresh faced Matt Damon that it’s not his fault and Matt’s all like “yeah, I know it’s not” but Robin keeps on at him. “It’s not your fault Will (Matt). It’s not your fault Will” and on and on until Matt starts swearing and then finally breaks down and starts crying. Poor Matt.

Now Robin wasn’t being mean. He just needed Matt to know and believe that it wasn’t his fault. Because dammit, it wasn’t Matt’s fault!!!! (and it never will be in my eyes). Robin had to say it to him over and over again until Matt was able to believe it.

Matt initially plays along “yeah Robin, I know it’s not my fault”. Then he resists “don’t fuck with me Robin” and finally he accepts “sob sob”. And that’s the moment right there, when his life starts to change!

**If you haven’t seen Good Will Hunting yet don’t judge it on my description of this scene! But where the hell have you been? Go see it!

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It’s the same thing with this principle. We all know we’re enough… right? I mean if you were to ask yourself right now if you were enough, your first and immediate response would more than likely be ‘yes’. But are you really? Then why aren’t you crying dammit?

The majority of us have an underlying hidden belief that in some way, shape or form we’re not enough. Sometimes it’s obvious where this belief comes from. Obvious to a Hypnotherapist at least. There will be there abusive parent, the Mother who left when you were young, the constant criticism from an overbearing father. These childhood events often lead to a feeling of not being enough, a feeling that stays with many of us throughout our lives holding us back from being all that we could be.

More often then not however, this belief is hidden somewhere so deep inside you that you absolutely no idea that you even think that you’re not enough. You’re just not one of those people, right? But your actions (or lack of), give you away…

 

They’re in that project you never complete.
That job you want but never apply for.
The pay rise you never ask for.
It’s when you accomplish all of your goals but never feel fulfilled or happy
The dance class you’ve always wanted to take but never do.
In never dreaming big because good things like that just don’t happen to you.

A good Hypnotherapist can help you figure out where this belief comes from and how to turn it around, usually in one or two sessions. But you don’t always necessarily need to know where the belief comes from. There’s a lot you can do to help yourself, starting right now.

So what’s the solution?

I’ve recently come across the work of Marisa Peer, who according to her website is the UK’s leading Therapist – so she must know her shit!

According to Marisa, the solution is a simple one. She tells her clients that three little words could change their lives. Yep, you’ve guessed it! These three little words are: I am enough.

Marisa suggests writing these words on your mirrors and on your phone and to basically surround yourself with them. So strong is Marisa’s belief in these words that she says when her clients have started saying them she has seen their lives transformed!

Whaaat??? Could it really be that easy? Marisa says ‘yes’!

That sounds like a challenge to me!

Now I have no idea if this works but it’s time to put these theories to the test and see if there really is some magic to be had in this easy to do self-help stuff that I always read about but never do! So, I’m adding these three little words to the remainder of my 100 day challenge.

My mirrors are already wearing my finest red lipstick and I’m rearing to go. Let’s give this a shot see where it takes us! I will of course report back with my findings so watch this space!

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Why not go grab yourself a red lipstick too and write ‘I am enough’ on every mirror in your house? Say it loud and say it proud whenever you see it. Say it to yourself repeatedly while you have a shower, when you do the washing up or just when you have some spare space in your head.

You never know what might just happen when you stop resisting and start believing… in you!

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Daily motivation: Pick your hard!

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There’s no denying it, life is hard.

It’s hard being overweight.
It’s hard going to the gym.
It’s hard having no money.
It’s hard going to a job you hate.
It’s hard being sad all the time.
It’s hard to think positive.
It’s hard to be on your own.
It’s hard meeting new people.

Yep, life is hard. Or as hard as you make it.

But what’s the alternative?

You find it hard living with the shape you’ve let your body become. But you find it hard motivating yourself to go the gym too. Pick your hard – because either way, you’re in a struggle, you’re fighting a battle, you’re going against yourself.

But which battle is worth fighting? Is it the fight you have in your mind, hating your body. Or the fight you have in your mind talking yourself into exercising?

PICK YOUR HARD.

Day 5 of the 100 day challenge

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Today’s 5 minutes journal was darker, a lot more depressing and angry to write but I’m glad I got those dark thoughts out of my head and into my notebook. I’m not feeling amazing, but at least I don’t have to carry the bulk of those dark thoughts around with me for the rest of the day.

I chose to do another meditation from  Shakti Gawain’s ‘Creative Visualization’ – specifically, the ‘Grounding yourself and running energy’ on page 87.

I read the meditation and then recorded myself reading it loud. So glad I did! It really helped get me in the zone… although I have to remember to read really really slowly next time and allow for very long pauses. My imagination needs time to do its thang!

This meditation gets you to imagine that there is a ‘grounding chord’ coming out of the base of your spine, going into the ground likes the roots of a tree. This allows you to pull energy from the earth and move it up through your body. This is mixed with energy from the ‘cosmos’ coming through the top of your head and down into the ground. (well, that’s my take on the whole thing anyway).

I like this. I like the idea of energy flowing through me, taking the good from the earth and sending it up through me into the universe and vice versa. I’ll be doing this more often for sure!

Now to the visualisation…

I had an interesting conversation with one of my brothers this evening. I asked him what he saw when he visualised his goals. He didn’t. WTF? A non-believer? He said he didn’t see the point of it!

After I removed the look of shock from my face, I told him excitedly about athletes and how the successful ones almost always say that they have imagined running a particular race a thousand times in their minds or they have mentally been through the course dozens of times. I told him that I honestly believe this works… but when I tell myself to visualise something, I go blank or my picture seems to fuzzy to actually see anything.

My brother, a film maker sees everything in clear pictures or moving images. He couldn’t understand how I couldn’t do this and I couldn’t understand how he could! I told him about my vision board and how, for example,  I ‘visualised’ being in Hawaii. I told him I was struggling with this because I have obviously never been to Hawaii, so how can I visualise it?

“But how does this relate to your 100 day challenge?” he asked. Say what?

“Well, I’m practising visualisation obviously! If I end up in Hawaii sometime in my life, I’ll know it worked!”, said I.

“Ermn, no. That’s not really a good experiment/challenge.  You can always twist your results to fit your way of thinking. Whatever you want, whatever you visualise, it has to happen in the 100 days of your challenge or it’s not a challenge

Mother trucker!

Ok, this guy has a point. This got me thinking and thinking hard. Admittedly, I’m not ready to go to Hawaii in the next 95 days so I don’t want to visualise this happening. But I would love to book my luxury trip to Hawaii before the challenge is over. What’s more, I would love to book it with the extra income £2k a month I want to visualise (rather than out of my current salary which would be a huge stretch).

Hmmn. You guys, I think I’m starting to get this!!!!!

I need my goals to be specific and measurable and that’s what I need to picture happening.  When I think of my goals/ desires in this way… I’m starting to actually see images in my mind. Moreover, I’m starting to feel excited when I sit down to think about them rather than thinking of them as a chore.

That kid (well, the 36 year old) is on to something!

Oh and my brother has also decided to visualise being a good Salsa dancer. He’s been to classes on and off for years but just doesn’t have the confidence to lead on the dance floor. He’s agreed to go through the moves in his mind daily, like a Salsa athlete…. so watch this space!

Day 3 of the 100 day challenge

So, I’ve been struggling with this whole visualisation part of my 100 day challenge. The 5 minute journal is something I’m really enjoying, the meditation is something I think I’ll come to enjoy but the visualisation thing is proving to be quite a challenge!

For the first two days, I spent about 5 minutes a day just imagining myself in a nice house, having a few nice things but it didn’t seem a) real or b) focussed. I spent most of Day 3 dreading the visualisation and trying to think of ways I could make it feel more real and focussed. And then it hit me – a vision board!!!

I did a quick search of Google images and found some pictures that I thought would represent my dreams for the next 100 days. Then off I went to make my vision board.

Turns out this wasn’t as easy as I had first thought. You can obviously tell by the design and layout of my blog (and this vision board) that I’m not tech savvy. But how the hell do you stick a bunch of images together digitally and quickly? Enter Picasa!!!! My new favourite toy. There are of course other ways you can create vision board such as these but Picasa is the one for me!

So, after playing around with this for an hour or so (yes, it took me that long) I created this here vision board:

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But what does it all mean? Allow me to explain. Over the next 97 days, I intend to focus on this vision board and visualise:

1. The Happy Soul Hub becoming a successful blog
2. Getting pregnant (I’m not trying for a baby yet but I’m approaching 38 and my body clock is ticking loud and hard. I don’t necessarily feel ready to have a baby just yet… I mean if Mother Nature allowed it I’d probably wait another 10 years but they say you’re never ready, so this is the year!)
3. Hawaii – I have dreamed of going to Hawaii for as long as I can remember. I’m going to visualise this happening. That I go in style, staying at the best hotel and not worrying about my spending money.
4. Making more money! For now, I’m going to visualise earning an extra £2,000 a month. Not sure how this is going to happen but I’m going to focus on seeing my bank statements increase by that sum every month.
5. Buying a flat to rent. There are some new flats being built close to my house, I’d like to buy one of these flats which is something I’m nowhere near doing right now. But hey, might as well visualise it!
6. Becoming a successful Harley Street Hypnotherapist. I’m currently training to be a Hypnotherapist and this is something I’d really love to pursue. If you’re going to dream, might as well dream big so Harley Street is it!
7. Being lucky! For the next 97 days, I’m going to visualise that luck is on my side.
8. Doing up my house. I moved into my new house a year ago and I haven’t been able to do much with it. I’m going to visualise my home becoming my perfect living environment

Right, that should keep me occupied for more than 5 minutes a day! I’m planning on looking at my vision board every morning whilst I’m on my way to work and slowly moving around each picture, visualising having each of these things.

I read somewhere that in order for visualisation / the Law of Attraction to work you have to get the feeling of already having what you want. So, if I want a new handbag I have to imagine how I’d feel having that new handbag. As we know, whenever you want something new, a few days after you have it you feel as if you’d had it all along.. that’s the feeling I need to create when I’m looking at my vision board.

Here goes…

 

 

30 questions that will change your life

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If you’re reading this, I’m making some assumptions about you and those assumptions form the basis of some of these questions. I’m assuming you’re searching for something, I’m assuming you want to be a better you and I’m assuming you think there’s more of it out there, whatever ‘it’ may be.

Sometimes these questions work better if you ask a friend to read them out loud to you. You don’t over think them that way, just answer whatever comes to your mind first – you can ponder your answers later.

I’ve also found these are a great set of questions to get to know friends or family better. Print the list off, grab a cuppa and go sit with a parent, sibling or friend… you will be surprised by their responses!

Now lets get to it…

  1. What do you hope to achieve by answering the following questions?
  2. When did you lose it? That fire in your belly?
  3. What’s your 30 second elevator pitch?  You meet a stranger in the lift/ elevator and have 30 seconds to introduce yourself. You like this person and want to keep them interested for personal/professional purposes. What’s your pitch?
  4. Who is favourite leader/ boss/ manager/teacher? What three qualities/ characteristics do you like most about them?
  5. How do you greet strangers? What level of energy do you bring to each new interaction? Do you take charge? Are you upbeat? Do you mumble? Or shy away? Is the way you greet strangers the way you’d want to be greeted?
  6. Who is the happiest person you know? Describe three of their qualities/ characteristics. Go further and ask them how they maintain such a sunny disposition.
  7. Who is the most depressing person you know? Describe three of their qualities/ characteristics. Do you have similar characteristics?
  8. Who is the most interesting person you know? What do you find so interesting about them?
  9. If you could only give one film to your friends for the rest of your days, what film would that be and why?
  10. What book would you gift your friends? Why?
  11. What does your perfect day look like? Not your perfect day some time in distant future, but tomorrow. Working the same job, having the same funds, friends and family you have right now… if you could do tomorrow the best way you could, what would it look like? Would you wake up earlier? Would you exercise? How far is that ideal from what today looked like?
  12. When was the last time you complimented yourself? And for what reason? If you can’t remember, what would it take for you to tell yourself you did good?
  13. How do you react to criticism, regardless of whether it’s constructive or not? How would you like to react?
  14. Can you think of a time when you wanted something so much and you got it? Can you remember what your thoughts were? The intensity and frequency of those thoughts? Did you picture the outcome happening before it happened? Ever thought about using this power more often?
  15. When you’re bored, what do you Google or research- just for fun?
  16. If you could do it all again, what’s the one piece of advice you’d give your younger self? Why?
  17. What are 3 of your best personality traits and why?
  18. What are 3 of your worst personality traits and why?
  19. On your last day, after you’re gone. What 3 words would you want/ hope your nearest and dearest would use to describe you?
  20. In one sentence, sum up the life you hope to lead.
  21. What 3 qualities do you find instantly likeable in a person?
  22. What does the best version of you look like? How does s/he dress? Talk? Walk? How do you carry yourself? How do you interact with people?
  23. What’s holding you back from being the best version of you?
  24. If your life was being made into a movie, what would be the overriding theme of the film? What film would it be similar to?
  25. Who do you respect most in the world? Why?
  26. What’s your definition of success?
  27. Who’s the most successful person you know? What in your eyes makes them successful? Do they fit your definition?
  28. Whose opinion matters to you the most? Would this persons opinion stop you from doing something you really wanted to do?
  29. What’s your theme tune?
  30. If you could press pause on your life right now, what’s the one thing you would change moving forward? Why?

If you learned something new about yourself or found these questions useful, I’d really love to hear from you!

Just say “no”

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Sounds simple enough eh? And no, I’m not referring to the ‘just say no’ to drugs campaign of the 1980’s (showing my age here).

I’m talking about being able to say “no” to your friends, family, siblings, workmates, strangers etc.

“No” – I don’t want to go for a drink tonight.

“No” – I don’t feel like going to your house for dinner next Saturday.

“No” – I don’t want to hang out tomorrow

“No” – I just don’t feel like it

You catch my drift.

For such a tiny word, it sure does cause me a great deal of stress. Why is it that whenever I say “no”, I feel that this teeny word is not enough? Why do I feel the need to add a few dozen sentences (usually embellished) to the back of it? “No, sorry I can’t make it on Friday night. I’m going to this imaginary other place. I have to be there straight after work so I can meet my imaginary friend. We’re going to be all the way at the other end of town so we won’t be able to pop in, not even just for a bit. Really sorry”. I go through these unnecessary motions when I all I want to do is say “no” or at the most “no, I can’t be bothered”.

Whilst I appreciate that overuse of the word “no” is pretty limiting. I mean, if all I’m doing is saying “no” all the time, am I ever reaching out of my comfort zone? If I’m honest, the answer is probably “no” – but that’s a whole other story!

The point is, I’d like to be able to say “no” without having to explain myself. I’d like to sometimes answer a question with “no” and have the only thing following it be, a full stop. The older I get, the more I’m realising that I don’t have to explain myself to everyone. Just because I don’t want to do something doesn’t mean I don’t like you or I don’t appreciate you. It just means I’m putting myself first. And it’s ok for me to do that.

So, as I start the journey of self-discovery and in the words of Louise Hay, “I say yes to life”. I also “no” to all the things I feel obliged or guilted into doing. My aim is to be able to say “no” without feeling any pressure or need to explain myself futher. I’ll be back to post updates of situations where I’ve practiced this brave new way of life, that is of course if I live to tell the tale! If you’ve mastered the art of saying “no”, teach me the way… drop me a line or comment below. I’m open to all suggestions!

On a final note, they say you can learn a lot from children. Perhaps I need to follow the example of my two year old niece, who politely says “no thanks” whenever she is so inclined.

Me: “Hey kid, can you pass me the remote control please?”

Kid: “No thanks”

Kinda has a ring to it. The kid may be on to something here…

 

How I made £700 in 3 days – just by changing my thoughts!

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About four or five years ago, I read a book by Brian Tracy called ‘Maximum Achievement’. Mr Tracy talked about doing a short experiment to test the principles in his book. It’s been years since I’ve read this book so I can’t remember the exact details but I think it was to test the power of belief (don’t quote me on that!). It was a pretty simple exercise, and as I was new to all of this self-help stuff I thought I’d give it a go.

The experiment:

For three days, all day every day repeat the following to yourself: ‘I am going to have an amazing day and amazing things are going to happen to me’.

Now, for this experiment to work you have to actually believe that something amazing is going to happen to you!

Sounded easy enough. So off my younger self went, for three whole days I obsessively said all day, every day (in my head) ‘I am going to have an amazing day and amazing things are going to happen to me’. I said this continuously as I walked to work, whenever I felt my mind wonder and every time I went to the bathroom. I would look at myself in the mirror and whisper over and over again, ‘I am going to have an amazing day and amazing things are going to happen to me.’ I’d then do 10 squats (this is optional) … you might as well make use of those bathroom breaks, especially when you hate your job and are in no hurry to get back to your desk.

I remember feeling excited on day 1. I believed in Mr Tracy and I was excited to see what amazing things were going to happen to me! I imagined that the next three days were going to be truly amazing.

My energy levels were dropping by day 2. I mean, I believed, I repeated but I saw nothing… I kept looking, but everything remained disappointingly the same. But the book said to keep believing and so I did. Something amazing had to happen to me.

On day 3 I looked around real hard all day for signs of this ‘something amazing’. Did I miss something? Maybe I should have reacted differently to something that happened during the day? Was I repeating this little mantra enough? Why wasn’t I seeing anything? Admittedly, my belief was beginning to waiver but the experiment wasn’t over yet so I had to keep on believing.

By nightfall, I had to admit defeat. I was at home and there was no possibility of anything new or amazing happening to me. My life was a crap as it was on day 1. As the end of day 3 neared, not only did I feel a little depressed but I also felt like a complete idiot for wasting 3 whole days on this crap. Brian Tracy that punk! I would have burned his book there and then if it wasn’t for the fact that it was actually a really good read.

At the time of this experiment, I was renting a flat close to my parents’ house. The experiment ended on Thursday evening and the following day, I did what I did almost every Friday night. I dropped by my parents house to collect my post.. I mean, to see how they were. I checked my post and oddly there was a letter from an insurance company asking me to contact them about a claim I’d made. This was odd because I hadn’t made any claims. I don’t even think I had anything insured to be claiming insurance for.

I called the Insurance company the following week expecting to be told they’d made an error. What happened next blew my mind a little. The Advisor told me that I’d made a claim about 3 years ago for mobile phone insurance. That is, I was charged for insurance when I hadn’t agreed to it. At the time, they rejected my claim and basically told me to get lost. I never gave it another thought, other than to make sure I never signed up for mobile phone insurance again!

Anyway, for some unknown reason this company decided after 3 years of no contact to randomly review my claim again. They decided that they had acted unfairly and decided to let me know. The Advisor told me that I was due a payment of £350 and he wanted to send me a cheque! WTF?

I remembered that I’d also paid my younger sister’s mobile phone insurance during the same period too and mentioned this to him. He reviewed my file again and agreed that I was owed that payment too. Another £350 to me! Sweeeet!

Now here comes the freaky part. The letter was dated Thursday of the week before, otherwise known as Day 3 of my experiment! WTF?!

A coincidence? I think not!

Learning points:

1. Positive thinking alone doesn’t work. You could say you’re going to have an amazing day all day, every day but nothing will change unless you BELIEVE that it will. Your head and your heart need to be singing from the same hymn sheet. This won’t work if deep down inside you think it’s all bullshit.

2. Don’t be disheartened when you don’t see results. Your belief is simply being tested. Stand firm and keep on believing. Remember, the magic was happening without me even knowing about it.

3. Belief is being sure of an outcome. Be sure of the outcome you want, as sure as you are that the sun will rise tomorrow morning.

4. Be realistic. I must confess, I thought my ‘amazing’ would be something like winning the lottery. I’m not sure how I thought that was going to happen considering I don’t buy lottery tickets!

5. Brian Tracy knows his shit! Check out his book, it’s worth a read.

Give the Maximum Achievement: Strategies and Skills That Will Unlock Your Hidden Powers to Succeed a go and let me know if any freaky shit happens to you too!